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We try very hard not to appear surprised. It is very difficult sometimes.

I never knew what a propensity there is in the human psyche to exhibit one's scars, spots and sordid tattoos to the general public. I kind of understand wanting people to see your tattoos. But if you plan on showing them, put 'em on your ankles and forearms,ok? Its gotten so bad that we no longer request that defendants list their identifying marks for us when they are first placed on probation. Like I'm not going to take your word for it that you tattooed all your children's names (in order of appearance) on your right butt cheek.

I fully expected to one day see a lower abdomen tattoo, complete with arrows and line drawings, that said something about "Insert Tab A into Slot B".

The moments of exhibitionism tend to sneak up on you. And its not just show and tell. Often times its tell, tell, tell. As a defense we've all cultivated the "I'm not impressed - Let's move on" look. We've also learned not to ask about operations, foot maladies and trips to Mexico to purchase false teeth. Just when you start to get a little bit smug and think you are totally unflappable - that's when bad things happen.

Mindy had a guy on her caseload who's been a real problem. He's got problems. Not the least of them is his claim that rampaging agoraphobia keeps him from leaving the house to do community service work. The agoraphobia doesn't seem to prevent trips to the grocery store or the bootlegger's house. Just community service.

Mindy has worked with this guy - trying to motivate, cajole or otherwise threaten him into doing probation. He is down to the end of his sentence. He hasn't done enough to be released.
He whined. He cried. He pleaded for one more chance. Against her better judgment, Mindy agreed to ask the Judge to give him more time to do this. However, she told him this is the end of the line. If he doesn't break his neck getting things done this month, its all over. He made lots of promises. Mindy told him she wants him to come in again at the end of the month to see what he has gotten done.

"I'm scheduling you for 4:00 p.m .on the 30th," she said.
"Umm... I don't think I can be here then." he said.
Mindy came unglued. "What do you mean you can't be here?!! You better be here or you will go to jail! Don't you understand that this is your last chance? Your only chance to show that you are willing to do what it takes to stay out of jail? You are 35 years old, unemployed, and living with your mother. You have no responsibilities, but now you are telling me you can't be here??"
"I'm going into the hospital that day to be circumcised because the yeast infections have gotten so bad."

Silence.

"So, can you be here on the 29th?"