It was Monday.

I had to testify in court yesterday. One of our most contentious attorneys was asserting that his client could not possibly be as bad as I said he was. Before the hearing the lawyer and I had totally agreed on what we thought was best for this guy. In the end the judge agreed too and sent the guy to a year-long lock-up for drug treatment and to have his head examined.

But that didn't stop Mr. Contrary from fighting about it and belaboring every. single. point. It is always a 'trial' to have to be in a court room with him. I guess that's why the DA was a little distracted when he called me to testify. When he tried to call me to the stand, he announced to the court that his first witness would be Rachel Ward.

Yeah. I can see where he would've made a mistake like that.

Can't you?

White Joe will miss him too.

Today was Sonic gossip day. You remember my Sonic guys, right? Trinny reported first and he was bummed. He's losing Cheese. Cheese has defected to the new I-HOP as a cook.

Cheese came in right before lunch. He has indeed traded in the burger grill for the breakfast grill. Did you know there are four grills at I-HOP? One for meat, one for eggs and pancakes, one for other stuff and he doesn't know what the fourth one is for. There has been much weeping and gnashing of teeth at the Sonic since Cheese has announced he is leaving.

Cheese did do the stand-up thing and told the manager, Ray-Ray, that he will stay a couple more weeks and train his replacement to "f*** this grill-shit up tight" just like him. (Cheese and I have had conversations about the need for him to develop a more formal verbal register for daily business and professional interaction.) Ray-Ray has evidently just returned from some sort of Managerial Jeezus Camp. He called Cheese into his office a few days after Cheese announced he was leaving.

"I want you to read this book, Cheese."
"What is it?"
"Its called 'Choices' and it will help you with your Sonic Future."
"I don't have a damn 'sonic future', Ray-Ray! I'm goin' to I-HOP!"

Cheese actually read the book. I asked what it was about. He explained it thusly:

"It was about some runner dude. He was always runnin' all the time - every day. Like he was gonna get in the f***in' Olympics or somethin'. He was always in races but he never won shit. I don't know why he kept doin' it - he was messed up about it, I guess. Then there was some really long race or some shit and he won it because it went on and on and that's all he did."

I'm not really sure what motivational lesson Cheese took from that.

In addition to moving up the corporate ladder, Cheese is going back to school. He's attending classes in the mornings, learning how to flip pancakes in the afternoon and working at Sonic at night. I told him I was impressed. He's attending classes at the alternative education school, which is where his younger brother attends. The younger brother really looks up to Cheese. He wears the same kind of clothes, has the same goatee and now he's doing the same work to get a diploma. They're hoping to graduate together.

I asked Cheese what his brother's name is.


Cheeto.