Andres is one of the older gentlemen on my caseload and we had our monthly meeting this week. He told me he'd seen his doctor the week before. He had a rather grave expression and asked my what chemotherapy was.
I was immediately concerned for him and went into a long and involved explanation of the various forms - pills, injections, intravenous pumps. Then I told him about some of the effects and emphasized that even though it may be hard on your body, the end result is positive and would help him survive to live a long, happy life.
I then asked him very gently if he had been diagnosed with something requiring chemotherapy.
"Well, yeah." He seemed a little confused, but continued, "I had an accident Friday and cut my foot pretty deep. I went to the doctor and got stitches. He said he would probably send me to chemotherapy."
Ooohhh. Physical therapy!
(I would have pounded my head on the desk at this point, but he already thought I was nuts.)
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Wednesday, October 6, 2004
Malapropistic Malfeasance
Alan is a character. He sees himself as a patriarch. A man who has suffered much, worked hard and is deserving of a long rest.
Trouble is, he is only 55, can't get approved to receive disability, and is trying to complete a felony probation for welfare fraud.
Alan does not have a strong grasp of the English language. He graduated from high school, but in a school where he was probably passed due to his athletic ability. I keep a notebook full of what we call "probation diseases". Medical terminology is hard enough to understand when you are a college educated person who uses it every day. The people we deal with have an even tougher time and it makes for some hilarious moments.
Alan is one of the best - a poor man's Gib Lewis. He recently told me about his brother-in-law who suffers from phosphate trouble. I referred him to a cancer support group in the area. During the same visit I commiserated with him over his wife who has ammonia. Told him there is now a pneumonia vaccine available and where they could go to get it at a reduced charge.
Then, as he was getting ready to leave, he promised me that he would finish up his community service hours this month. He planned to go work at the minefield and then he would be done. I immediately thought 'hell yeah, he'll be done!' and then realized he meant the landfill.
Conversations with Alan are never boring.
Trouble is, he is only 55, can't get approved to receive disability, and is trying to complete a felony probation for welfare fraud.
Alan does not have a strong grasp of the English language. He graduated from high school, but in a school where he was probably passed due to his athletic ability. I keep a notebook full of what we call "probation diseases". Medical terminology is hard enough to understand when you are a college educated person who uses it every day. The people we deal with have an even tougher time and it makes for some hilarious moments.
Alan is one of the best - a poor man's Gib Lewis. He recently told me about his brother-in-law who suffers from phosphate trouble. I referred him to a cancer support group in the area. During the same visit I commiserated with him over his wife who has ammonia. Told him there is now a pneumonia vaccine available and where they could go to get it at a reduced charge.
Then, as he was getting ready to leave, he promised me that he would finish up his community service hours this month. He planned to go work at the minefield and then he would be done. I immediately thought 'hell yeah, he'll be done!' and then realized he meant the landfill.
Conversations with Alan are never boring.
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