Romance in the Car - Part III or Reverend Frank Speaks

I know you are wondering what ever happened to Frank. Remember Frank?

Frank got a lawyer. Finally. He came back to county court again today, this time with plea bargain. Frank was in a mood. A real good mood.

"You been comin' to my court for a long time Frank." the Judge drawled from the bench.
"Yeah, that's the truth!" Frank laughed a little hysterically.
"I have an affidavit here that you signed. It says that when you get out of jail, you are leaving Fake Cow County and not ever coming back."
"That's right Judge. I'm gettin outta here and I ain't never coming back." Frank cackled this time. He was starting to sound a little like Al Sharpton.
"Well good. You been in this court practically since I became judge and I am tired of seeing you."
"Don't worry bout that Judge - You won't be seein me any more."

I stifled an "Amen!"

So, the Judge revoked Frank's probation and he will spend a few more months in the Fake Cow County Hoosegow. Frank sat down in the back of the courtroom to watch the rest of the festivities before being chauffeured back to the Bars and Stripes Hotel.

We handled a few more cases, then there was a lull in the proceedings while we waited on an attorney to arrive. Since the Judge hadn't officially called time-out, everyone stayed in the courtroom, twiddling their thumbs. Frank evidently felt this was his chance to prophesy.

"Well! That last guy sure got a sweat deal, Judge," he proclaimed, loudly. "They sure wouldn't give me a deal like that."
"Whatever you say, Frank." the judge said.
"I can tell you this - " he addressed his once and future roommates on the pew alongside him. "If they give you probation, you won't last a week. A week!" He scrunched his eyes and clawed up his fingers and pointed various appendages in my direction. "Especially not if you have Miss Rachel for an officer!" Everyone in the courtroom burst into nervous laughter.

Frank was evidently possessed by the spirit. He began to writhe around on the pew and glare at me as I lounged in the jury box. He roared, "I don't know how you can be a probation officer and hold your head up. I don't know how you can go to church on Sunday!" Then he cowered and covered his head with his hands. "I'd be afraid of the lightning!" More maniacal laughter. At this point, people were chuckling half-heartedly and moving far away from him.

The deputy decided now would be a good time to drive Frank back out to his county suite and took Frank's arm, leading him out of the courtroom.

"Geeze Frank," I said. "I'm gonna miss you too."


Anybody want to bet on how long it will be before Frank returns? And yes, this is the first time I've ever seen the Judge make a person swear in writing that they would saddle up and 'leave town by sundown'. I guess Fake Cow County just ain't big enough fer the two of 'em!