Hair Today...

This is a photo from 12 1/2 years ago.

The Hanging Judge was swearing me in as an Officer of the Court. Just like a police dog. I'm not posting this because I really miss The Hanging Judge. I'm not posting this because The Hanging Judge is now just a little old man lawyer. I'm not even posting this because no one could masticate posterior the way The Hanging Judge could. He gave the best speeches when he got angry. His right eyebrow would go to wagglin' during testimony and you knew somebody was in for a major butt-chewing.

My all-time favorite speech always started with these words - "Do you see that tree right outside the window?" Then there were the two or three months following his visit to Huntsville to tour the prison system. He would lecture the defendant in great detail about the wonders of the Texas prison system that awaited them in that fair city of Huntsville. "...and that horse has been specially trained, so that when you slow down or get lazy, that horse will bite your..."

But none of that is why I posted this picture. I posted it because I got my hair permed last night. I am once again a poodle-head! My hair is only half as long as it was in this picture. I'm feeling all red-neckish about it. Why? Because I went to the Wal-Mart Beauty Salon so Wanda could work her hairish magic.

Wanda. At Wal-Mart. Isn't that great?

I love Wanda. I'd been going to the same hair-lady for years - Rita. She was ok, but try as she might, she could never get my hair to perm after I had my thyroid "fixed". I had considered going somewhere else but geeze - I hate the drama of looking for someone to do your hair! But Rita has decided to sell her business, so now I had to find someone. I moped around and whined about it at work.

Rose told me to go see Wanda. She had just started working at the cozy, comfy beauty shop I had considered going to anyway. But why should I go to Wanda, I asked? For one thing, Rose explained, she is my cousin. Who knew?

Wanda's grandmother and my grandfather were cousins. That makes us practically twins. And I don't even know her last name. Wanda is tall and thin and occasionally blonde. She is the only member of her immediate family that has managed to stay out of jail and off drugs. She's working hard to help her husband make a living and be a productive member of society. And she sounds a lot like Woody Woodpecker when she talks.

She gave me the best haircut I've ever had! I was thrilled! And she promised she could work some mojo that would make my hair take a perm again. Wanda knows all and I am a true believer.

The only fly in the ointment - she had to move to Wally World because she wasn't making any money at the comfy cozy beauty shop. It was way off the beaten path and the girl who'd been the big money maker for the place had moved on, taking most of the clientele with her. So, Wanda sucked it up and moved to where the action is. I sucked it up and got my hair done at Wally World.

It's not the greatest, but Wanda still is. She asked me who to call at the police department to report someone for cooking meth. She told me about how her husband is working construction in Amarillo and when he gets home he cooks for their son so she can work evenings and make more money. She told me she's hoping to make tons of sales this week so she can get a commission bonus. She was proud of the fact that she'd already paid all her bills for the month so this check will be the only money she has for Christmas and she's hoping for the extra commission. She talked about her son who is having a really tough time in school, but how she is thankful that he is doing better than before.

She even mentioned that I looked sort of tired. And I was. I'd spent the whole day listening to dead beats and losers - people full of excuses. It was really nice to listen to someone who doesn't have much , works hard for what little they do have and is proud to be able to do so. Hell, I even bought that $10 bottle of shampoo on the way out.