What's in a name?

M2 was hired as a probation officer six months before me. I've written about her before. Which means she's been here, striking terror into the hearts of evil-doers for 13 and 1/2 years. She's crazy. And I don't mean crazy as in ha-ha-isn't-she-quaint-crazy. I mean eat-your-children-for-breakfast-crazy.

She's really proud of her Hispanic heritage, but doesn't take it too seriously. She and I went out to dinner together one Friday night at a new local restaurant. We were immediately seated and given a couple of menus. We sat there. And we sat there. And we made a pyramid out of the menus and some condiments. And we sat there. Finally she announced in a loud voice: "I don't know what the problem is. I look white!"

The waiter made it right over to our table after that.


She had to go to court this week for revocation hearings. One of her guys, who is also Hispanic, was in court because he'd screwed up his probation. He's much too busy to report, too hedonistic to spend money on fines and court costs, and too popular to be seen doing community service.

His attorney put him on the stand and he talked about how he'd wanted to make a success of the probation. He just couldn't get any help from his officer, Ms. Maldanado. She wouldn't cut him a break. He felt that he couldn't confide in Ms. Maldanado. In fact, several times when he had tried to call Ms. Maldanado to ask for her help, she wouldn't even return his calls. He knew he should have made more of an effort, but he hoped the Court would understand that Ms. Maldanado, rather helping, had been a hindrance to his efforts from the very beginning. He had tried. Ms. Maldanado had not. And that is why he was in trouble.

The Assistant District Attorney stood up and asked one question. "Mr. Garcia, would it surprise you to learn that your officer's name is MEJORADO, not Maldanado?"

He went to jail.