Joe Sobers Up

Today M2 and Mindy were reminiscing about Joe. Joe had a good attorney and with a terrific bit of luck and managed to get probation for his third felony DWI. Most people go to prison for the second, much less the third. He started out on Mindy's caseload, but soon ended up with M2. He was not happy about that at all. Joe thought M2 had it in for him and was just looking for an excuse to send him to prison.

Within the first month, M2 had evidence that Joe had been drinking again. She confronted him but he refused to admit it. M2 called Mindy into the office and told her, in front of Joe, what she knew. Mindy sat down next to Joe and gave him a soulful look.

"Now Joe, we know you've been drinking - look at me Joe - so why don't you just come clean and fess up?"

Joe gave in and spilled his guts.

Since he admitted what was going on, M2 sent him to in-patient treatment rather than putting him back in jail. M2 had learned about his drinking from his current wife, who was fed up with the situation and Joe's excuses.

Joe got out of treatment on a Friday morning and came in to meet with M2. He requested a travel permit to go to with his mother to visit his sister in Dallas over the weekend. He neglected to mention that his sister was a bar tender. So, of course, if he wanted to spend time with her over the weekend, he was going to have to go to the bar.

Joe, in addition to being married to a woman who was fed up with his alcoholism, had an ex-wife. The ex hated Joe's guts because he was always years behind on child support payments.

On Saturday, in Dallas, Joe - the alcoholic - went to the bar to visit his sister. Guess who else picked that particular gin joint? On that particular evening? In Dallas? His ex-wife, of course.

It didn't take her long to rat Joe out to M2. M2 practically had a warrant waiting for him by the time he got back home. After he sat in jail for a few weeks, all the interested parties showed up for a court hearing. Judge KindlyOldMan heard the case.

Judge Kindly OldMan is retired now. He was an old school gentleman and an elder in the Church of Christ. He was also an excellent punster who never really had anything bad to say about anyone. He was a good man, but also notoriously soft-hearted and frustratingly willing to believe a sob story.

M2 testified that she wanted Joe to go to a SAFPF - a prison-based substance abuse treatment program. The defendant spends 9 months in a special prison doing intensive drug and alcohol treatment, followed by 3 months in a half-way house and a year of after-care treatment. Judge KindlyOldMan announced he would follow M2's recommendation. He asked the cursory question of whether the defendant had anything to say before judgment was pronounced. Joe had something to say.

Joe told the Judge he was tired of dealing with M2. He told the courtroom that he thought M2 was probably a lesbian and was certainly a woman who hated men. When he got out of treatment he wanted another officer!

The Judge turned five kinds of green and ran a hand over his face. When he finally was able to speak he told Joe they would address that problem once he got out of SAFPF, if need be.

So, Joe went away for a while. Much to everyone's surprise Joe really paid attention and worked the program in SAFPF. He came out a new man and did well on probation. He and his wife had a better relationship. They started going to church together. Joe continued to maintain his sobriety. They were both in their mid-40's with grown children. Their second grandchild was born. The two of them worked hard and started to enjoy the empty-nest lifestyle. Joe had always been a hard worker and his wife worked as well as being in the Army reserves, so they lived a comfortable, if not prosperous, life.

Things were going good when Joe's wife was called to active duty. She was sent to Fort Hood for three weeks of training prior to being shipped off to Kuwait. Joe came to see M2 sometime after his wife left. He told M2 that his wife had a weekend of leave time right before she was scheduled to leave the country. She couldn't come up here, he would have to travel down there if he was to see her. He explained that it was a 7 hour trip and he didn't think the time and expense was justified for no more than one weekend together. He wasn't going to go.

M2 threw a fit. She lectured him about his wife going off to war. She could likely be killed and how would Joe handle that? Did he really want to face that guilt? Didn't he want to spend time with her? How was his wife going to feel if he didn't come see her one last time before she shipped out? M2 told Joe that he was going to Fort Hood and she would except no excuses. She gave him a travel permit. Don't be cheap, she told him, go visit your wife! He dutifully went to visit his wife.

All went well.

Joe's wife got to Kuwait and was ok at first, but soon began to have problems. She didn't feel well. She was sick, but could still work. She worked hard. She worked out hard. She expected the problems to get better. They didn't, so she finally went to a doctor. After she explained her symptoms, the doctor immediately gave her a pregnancy test. She was five months pregnant.

Five months earlier, M2 had all but forced Joe to go visit his wife one last time before she went off to war.

M2 ought to be paying child support.

Joe's wife came back home and had a beautiful, healthy baby girl - a baby girl who is two years younger than their youngest grandchild. Joe finished his probation and continues to live a sober and productive life. Now he sees M2 every week at the grocery store instead of the probation office.

And M2's love-child is growing like a weed.